黃博志Po-Chih HUANG

 

自畫像紅二號 / Self-Portrait No.2( RED )

形式： Single-channel video

年份：20047

長度：7' 17”

 

在緊緊貼近掃描機玻璃時，我想著玻璃和我之間的距離究竟為何?
這段距離裡似乎充滿了無數無法填滿的縫隙，而縫隙裡是否充滿我所無法查覺的表象? 我也相信表皮的外在樣貌與內在心理存在著的第二道縫隙，是不是也有些什麼?

掃描機所呈現出種種不完美的缺陷，與這樣的真實細節對峙讓我害怕，一種對自我皮層認知「缺席」的恐慌以及印象「錯位」的焦慮。我想像「缺席」、「錯位」與現實間的落差所產生的縫隙裡的我，會是什麼樣貌，而或許掃描機的光穿透縫隙，可以映射出我的樣子。我並不試圖要縮小或是填滿縫隙，我揉合著如血、如肉般的紅色顏料融入其中，去遮蓋、溶解我所害怕的真實細節，融入那可能是一種扁平的劇場式隔離場景裡。

As my body clinched to the glass of the scanner, I could not help but ponder upon the meaning of distance. “What is the implication of the fleshly distance between the glass and I in spite of our closeness?” “Does any imagery that is beyond
senses exist in this obscure space?” Something exists betwixt the skin and the self, I believe.
I was frightened by the detailed imperfections which surfaced by means of the scanner. They engendered my panic toward the absence of my fleshly senses; my anxiety was aroused by the notion of displacement as well. I could not visualize the reflection of my figure produced by the radiation of the scanner, nor could I envision the image of a self that was given to birth by absence, displacement, and the fall from reality. However, I did not minimize or plaster the fissures produced by the distance between the glass and I. Instead, I integrated myself into the fissures by applying materials which are crimson and tangible in order to establish the effect of alienation. Such effect soothed my panic and anxiety toward the detailed imperfections.